A: Who do you like and Why?
Interesting capitalization there. I like lots of people! The reasons why are FAR too diverse and complex to really get into on my tumblr right now (and largely none of your business) but it usually boils down to “They’re awesome!”.
Going the Homestuck route, because why not, I am currently active in the following relationships:
(For reference, those last two parse roughly to “better-than-friends, platonic, keeping each other stable and sane” with Ria and “ARCH NEMESIS!” with Lex.)
There are also bunches of other people I like in varying degrees, but I’m mostly on a downswing as far as relationships go right now. Really only one person I’d be willing to add to my web in a serious way, yes, you may now gossip among yourselves.
I: What’s the most important part of a relationship?
I’m gonna go with communication. Being able to communicate your feelings, hurts, wants, needs, desires, compatibility, insanity…all of that is crucial to keeping the relationship well-oiled. As an offhand first thought, I think it suits.
L: How many people have you ever hooked up with?
Uhhhhh…I don’t really know how to define hooked up, so I’m going to go with “casual+, at least past kissing”. Give me a mo’.
*pulls out a notebook and starts scrawling*
As far as I can remember, 29. Please put all judgement in the form of anonymous comments in my ask box, I will take great pleasure in laughing at them.
N: What age do you think is appropriate for kids to start having sex?
At the age where they are emotionally ready for it, and mature enough to communicate about their desires and about worst-case scenarios in a rational and well-thought-out way.
If you can say, at fourteen, “I like xyz; I have condoms with me in my bag, but refuse to get an abortion because of religious reasons; I test negative for everything except HSV-1 and I’m not currently having an outbreak”, and your partner is someone equally mature and rational, and the two of you are interested in each other as people, and not because “yay sex”, then go for it. Don’t get hurt.
Now, I don’t *recommend* having sex that young. Hell, I’m still somewhat of an advocate for “don’t have sexual relationships in high school”, but that’s because I think people would do well for themselves to spend a goodly chunk of time on introspection and developing their own hobbies and interests as an actual person, before they try to add someone else to their life. But if you’re actually ready for it, I’m not going to say you can’t do it.
Oh, and as previously stated, I am pretty much the world’s biggest fan of self-sex. Start that as early as you want, you’re not hurting *anyone* by it. Not even yourself (no matter what the literature might say.)
(As for me? By the most liberal definition of sex, I was seventeen. By the most stringent, I was almost 22. I am a late bloomer, but oh, I bloomed *hard*)
S: What do you consider a deal breaker?
Lots of things. I’m surprisingly picky for how much a slut I am, and I’ve only gotten more so in my old age. But here are some of the big and immediate ones.
Cheating on me is an immediate dealbreaker. Because I am poly. Because I don’t care if you are also poly. Because if you won’t tell me who else you’re emotionally or sexually entangled with, I cannot be safe for my other partners, and because I have given you a way to sleep with them anyways, without cheating on me.
If you press consent, we are done, forever. I do not put up with That Bullshit. anymore.
If you cannot exist without me, cannot function without me, are not passionate towards anything except me, then you will never have me. Ever.
I don’t mind your being damaged, but I expect you to work on it. It’s no less than what I expect of myself.
Do you see that above note about communication being the most important thing? Indeed.
2: If you could go back in time and give yourself one piece of advice about dating what would it be?
“Hey Sor, circa the summer of 2004 or so.”
“What, whoa, who the fuck are you?”
“Cripes, your language, child! Veronica’s right to scold you.”
“ANYWAYS, in case it’s not obvious from the fact that we look exactly the same except I’m in somewhat better shape, I’m you. From about six years in your future. Five and a half I guess.”
“Where do I get some?”
“Stupid memes. Do more of them. No wait, that’s terrible advice, jesus, your livejournal is already awful enough.”
“I like my livejournal!”
“Yes, and I like that it exists except when *someone* gets all petty and doesn’t post for three months straight because they’re passive aggressive.”
“Oh fuck, that’s next summer. Sorry. Um, yeah, forget I said that—”
“What were you saying about language?”
“Shuddup, you little brat. ANYWAYS, I am here to bring you advice. Romantic advice, specifically.”
“Oh lugnuts why? I am NOT INTERESTED. You should know that, of all people. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’m asexual.”
“Well, yes, I know you are, and that’s part of why this is going to be very confusing for you. Oh, and as my sub-advice, do hold onto that as a legitimate lifestyle, because it is, and I’m very interested to hear about the misadventures of alternate!timeline Ace!Sor. Although somehow I expect she’s way more of a queer rights activist than I am.”
“Uhh, okay? Did you have a point?”
“Man, was I this disrespectful to my elders when I was that age?”
“Brat. For the third time, ANYWAYS, listen here: You’re polyamorous.”
“It means you fall in love with more than one person at once. Now, as it so happens, there are other polyamorous people in the world, and —wait, is it before Origins or after Origins right now?”
“You don’t know?”
“It mostly doesn’t matter! It’s not like you were thinking sexual thoughts about him the first time around (or even, largely, the second time around).”
“Second time around? Him?”
“Before Origins, gottit. Anyways, you might want to ask the Hippie Pirate for more information about poly. But the crucial thing here, that I want you to know, is that you should never compromise on your orientation. Monoamorous relationships are the norm, and societally approved, and many people need or prefer them. Don’t get yourself into one, because you shouldn’t be making that sacrifice for people, not when you’ll be able to find people who fit with you anyways. Just keep looking.”
“…when am I going to get into any relationships in the first place?”
“At day camp this year, keep your eyes peeled for a They Might Be Giants reference who carries a towel.”
“I’m going to get into a relationship at girl scout camp?”
“Well no. Not this year. My time is almost up, so I must leave you! Be well, and enjoy this universe I have warped. May you still grow up to be unwaveringly stable, because really, that’s one of the best things about being myself.”
“I, uh…this has indeed been educational.”
*a flash of lime green smoke, and the playground once again has only one person sitting on the swingset, looking faintly boggled and very amused.*
“Damn, I should’ve asked her for some actually useful information.”